Head Space January 2008

For those interested in taking a tour of my mindspace at the moment.. here's the deal.

I'm doing just fine.. I like who I am, I'm very comfortable with that. and I like who I see when I look in the mirror.

Work - is good, they still drive me mental sometimes and I still am at odds with their "logic." Yesterday I attended a staff meeting that I rated a "double eye gouger." I can generate very little interest in problems that are generated because we've purchased from multiple vendors.

Air Force Guy has been replaced with.. well.. Air Force Guy.. but with a signifcant improvement in kms (you know Air Force Guy will always hold a special place in my esteem/thoughts.)

Tonight I'll be doing the trawl of realestate.com.au and searching for places around here to buy - with the usual requirements, do I think I can keep a dog there.

Gym work is going well.. it's fat friday but I'm starting to see the two top abs so I'm happy with the forward momentum.

Society in general? well. I don't like where it's going - people are having "anger reactions" earlier in the process. They seem to believe that an anger reaction will achieve their desired result much faster than any other method (and they might be right but I maintain it isn't needed.) There is a focus on self and not the fellow "man."

Sitting here writing I've had a sudden thought that perhaps *this* is the purpose of organised religion. Mind control as such but preaching that second greatest commandment. (no, not going to give that one to you, do some research and find out for yourself.)

Enjoy life people, and be kind to your comrades.

Random stuff going around in my head

"This lesbian bar has no fire escapes! Enjoy your death trap, Ladies!" - Homer J Simpson

Je suis anglais

Je suis anglais, et quand les Brittaniques ont d'ennui, nous nous calmon avec beaucoup de thé.

Polly, put the kettle on.

The One with the Deflated Ego

I wandered into a clothing store that I have spent rather a lot of money in since I moved to Melbourne. Normally there is a very attentive guy there who is very keen to try a number of outfits on me like his personal Barbie Doll.

Today was a sales girl I haven't met before, and from the dressing down she was receiving from her boss. During the fitting process she told me that their store effectively sets out to dress anorexic males and jockeys. I wasn't sure I really fit into either of those categories, I didn't really take much notice of it though, I'm not youre 6 foot plus security guard type. Her next comment was the one that really skewered me through the ego "guys who work out just don't fit into our clothes."

I like my shape when I look in the mirror, I work out.. but I still fit their clothes..

Korben.... Korben my man...

I have no fire.

Fear not!

Whenever I meet a really nice guy and then find out he's attached (no doubt to an equally nice fellow) the phrase "all the nice ones are taken" springs to mind. It takes me a moment to realise that that's not actually true, I've cornered the market on "nice" to the point where you can take me home to meet mother and I'll be a hit! Rob, we'll note, is single.

Fear not people, nice guy who works at the same hospital.. has a partner... but I did have a nice long chat to him today, so, I think that's a win.

The one with the nest

Of late my life has been quite full - which has been quite pleasing. I've been starting the long process of looking for a flat to buy (though I think I'm just always nipping at the heels of the market.) travelling to Brisbane to celebrate a birthday and I've found a gym buddy as well it seems. There have even been some new people I've met and I've been very lucky with the calibre of the new people I've been meeting.

As usual in my life there are two people I have a high level of interest in.. one of them is my standard crush, air force guy. The other is one of the diagnostic radiographers in the hospital I work in. My big question is... (assuming he's single and interested) do you date someone you're going to stumble across reasonably frequently in your day to day work? If it all goes sour, there's no escape. Of course, it may go swimmingly well...

the random rambling stops here.

There are....

I've always enjoyed the geeky humour of "There are 10 types of people in the world, those who understand binary and those who don't."

It should also be noted that there are 2 types of people in the world, those who can assemble furniture, and those who can't. Fortunately I find myself in the former group, I can see it all as a system of joins and functions. Systems are very much my thing, I love to navigate within them, test the rules they seem to follow, find the loopholes and exploit whenever possible.

No real point to this post, I'm tired, it's taken me 5 hours to get home from Brisbane and I'm turning into a full on Crankerella. Bed and sleep is required to get me back to my perky, rident self.

Penguins

In the winds of Antartica, one penguin (who was affectionately known as Sprocket) turned to his neighbour (Charlie) and said "That's a really odd place for a third foot isn't it? And is that second beak at all functional."

Charlie looked at Sprocket, looked at his own body, looked out to sea before turning back to give Sprocket a look of defiance and said "Yes, but I like them."

Rob says "Kudos to Charlie."

The one with the hiatus

Long time, no post. This is mostly because I've often thought about things to post while I'm pounding the pavement - often with my beloved iPod cranking out the tunes. When I make it back to my abode, the post has left me, without a keyboard to commit it to text.

In the main, the posts that haven't made it online have been about belonging, about a sense of community and why I feel I have neither. I am, in laymans terms, a freak. Please don't misunderstand, I'm a freak that some people love, it is possible that some people love me *because* I am a freak. There is no community that I feel at one with, there exsists a seperate dimension of "Rob." I'm reasonably at peace with that.

The DJ at the greyhound tonight played one of my favourite songs, he often plays this number, but today it took on an entirely new meaning for me... "Total eclipse of the heart." My heart, I suspect, has eclipsed and is merely the organ I use to pump blood around my pudgy, scarred body. Any emotions I do have, are stored somewhere inside me I'm sure, but, as Buffy sang about in "Once more with feeling." ... "I touch the fire and it freezes me, I look into it and it's black." Buffy, however, goes on to say that she wants the fire back, and, quite frankly, I'm not sure that I have the same desire. There *are* things that can penetrate my "wall" there are levels of connection I can form with people but it has to be said, in the main, my life is run with reason and logic.

So at this point I'm going to put it out there (instead of keeping it in my head) that I see myself as alone for the future I can imagine. (note a careful choice of words - even in my drunken state.) and also point out that this doesn't actually bother me that much... just occasionally.

For those of you who are wondering, the dimension of Rob contains rather a lot of penguins.